13 Reasons Why Your Daughter Needs to Improve Her Confidence
Why am I doing something like the Kid’s Superhero Challenge to supercharge your child’s self-confidence?
I had an A-HA moment which was really powerful and I didn’t sleep the entire night, as I started to really zoom in on a deep meaning of why for me. Here is what happened. We were doing belt testing the other day and I had noticed in one of the drills what we were doing, the parents were tossing a pad and having the kids hit it and then get it. I noticed that the moms were running across the room and grabbing the pad and coming back, and then the kid would hit it and the moms again would run across the room and come back. Now while that in itself doesn’t seem like a big deal. That was my A-HA moment.
What I noticed at that point is how ingrained our teaching to our boys, in particular, is that women are second class. And that sucks! That’s not acceptable, and so that suddenly hit me A-HA! Why am I going to be doing this Kid’s Superhero Challenge to improve confidence? That was it. What started happening was the moms were doing all the work, the moms were running all over the place, and subconsciously teaching the boys, women serve me.
That’s not cool. That’s not acceptable. Now, in this case, the moms had the best intentions. They are caring, loving, and fantastic moms. They were being helpful. I get that. But the subconscious message to these five-year-old boys is women are here to serve me. Then I started thinking about how deep that is ingrained in everything in children’s lives.
So I started to create a list. I literally didn’t sleep, processing different ways that we go through it. I deal with a lot of parents. We’ve got a couple of hundred kids in the karate school I also deal with and speak with a lot of therapists and doctors that work with women that are struggling with challenges. So, here is what I started to write down from what I see and hear.
# 1 – Behind every great man, there’s a great woman. Yeah, there’s a lot of great women, but why are they behind? Make it teamwork. Next to every great man is a great woman.
#2 – Women working twice as hard and not getting the recognition or the same amount of pay for the same job.
#3 – Women saying things like, “Well, I’m not allowed to…” when they are talking about doing something that they want to do. What? You’re not allowed to?
#4 – Women doing something that they don’t want to do? And then saying, “Well, I didn’t want to make him mad.” If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it, and if it makes him mad, he has issues. Don’t be controlled by another person. But this is just one example of issues that women are taught at a very young age. It becomes so ingrained that they don’t even think about it.
#5 – Women becoming a stay at home mom because they think that’s the only option they have. They throw away all of their dreams and their thoughts and their wants, because well, somebody’s got to take care of the kids. So it’s got to be me.
#6 – Women taking care of everything in the house. It’s a family. A family is a team. How about you work together, and everybody puts in and helps so that mom doesn’t have to do every single thing. But again, a lot of people start to expect, because we’re taught that at a super young age. That has to stop!
#7 – Women believing that they are second class because their spouse tells them so. You don’t have a job, you are just a stay at home mom. That is a huge job, and teaching kids to understand this is important.
#8 – Women living in fear every single day because they feel trapped in their life. They end up dealing with emotional, social, and physical abuse. They think, “Well, I can’t leave him because I don’t have anything else to do. I don’t have any other place to go.” So they feel doomed to be dealing with that type of abuse. NO!!!
#9 – Girls whose identity and their entire self of identity is based on the number of likes they get on social media? They have to take these selfies and they have to do these different pictures. And if they don’t get enough likes, they don’t feel important.
#10 – Girls that feel that they need to take half-naked pictures so that somebody will pay attention to them.
#11 – Girls that dreams and their entire life is destroyed because they become pregnant at 15 because they didn’t want to lose their boyfriend. They were afraid of making him mad, or they were afraid that they would leave them.
#12 – Girls that live with little or no self-esteem, and have such little self-worth that anybody that gives them the slightest attention, that they’re going to please, even if it’s in the form of abuse. How many people do you know that live with physical or emotional abuse every single day, because that’s the only attention that they can get?
#13 – Girls as young as 12, turning to drugs or alcohol because they don’t know how to deal with the stresses of everyday life. Nobody has given them the tools on what to do or how to deal with these things.
All this stuff got me thinking about if we can improve girls’ self-confidence at a young age, most or all of these troubles and problems start to disappear. Just imagine what the world would look like.
Then I started thinking, what if your daughter was going to be the next Amelia Earhart? But instead of becoming Amelia Earhart, we didn’t give her the tools to teach her confidence. So she is doomed to a life of mediocrity and lack of confidence and just settling for whatever was given to them. And that’s just one example.
How about Eleanor Roosevelt or Grace Hopper? I’ve got my list here: Anne Frank Lucille Ball, Ophelia, Gibson, Jane Goodall, Sally Ride, J.K. Rowling, Mary Curie, Maybe your daughter is going to be one of these next amazing women, but if we don’t teach them confidence now, they are never going to be able to grow into that.
The Kid’s Superhero Challenge is a five-day challenge where we are going to be supercharging your daughter’s confidence and giving them those skills. I am focused on helping every girl I can to develop self-confidence so she can become a strong, independent woman, making her own decisions and living a life of excitement, fulfillment, and happiness.