Why Coaching from the Sidelines is Retroactive for Your Child’s Development | Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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My son Joseph loves Karate with Shihan! We tried another karate schools that was closer in location, but he kept asking for Shihan. In comparison, I was most impressed with the curriculum and organization at Denny Strecker's Karate, and I'm so glad we made the decision to return. The kids are all known by name and addressed individually throughout each class. Joseph loves it, and I have seen growth in him both as a karate student and as a young boy who displays confidence and shows courtesy and respect!

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One of the most rewarding decisions we've made in our daughter's development has been her enrollment at Denny Strecker's Karate. She has developed so many skills in just one year. The instructors are wonderful and the skills they teach reach well beyond martial arts, including reinforcing skills to be a good student, good friend, and good person.

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Nearly five years at the dojo now. My son, 12 year old who is autistic has really progressed under Shihan Strecker. He is doing things I would not have thought he could do. He's still very shy but his confidence has grown so much. I highly recommend this kid friendly, family oriented dojo.

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We signed up my son last year when he was 5 to help him build confidence. Since then his more confident in everything and made improvements in all areas. Now, his twin sister has joined along with him after seeing how fun the class were. I love the fact that the classes focus on life skills but making it a blast for the kids!

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Why Coaching from the Sidelines is Retroactive for Your Child’s Development

This is a great article written by the Skillz  creator Melody Shuman.

As parents, we want what’s best for our children, and we also want our children to give it their best when they participate in extra-curricular sports and activities. The problem is, we sometimes get caught up in our desire to see our children perform well and we speak up at the wrong times. With that said, I’ve put together some details about how coaching from the sidelines plays a retro-active role in our child’s emotional development.

(Please note as it relates to this article, I’m focusing on a martial arts parent because that’s the environment I’m an expert at when it comes to this topic. However, this information is easily related to other sports and activities.)

For starters: your child’s brain is already occupied with so many thoughts. Take a sparring match for example:

  • Which technique should I throw?
  • What technique is my opponent going to throw?
  • What if I get hit?
  • What did my instructor just say?
  • What did my classmate just say?
  • What did my parent just say?
  • Was that other parent talking to me?
  • What are the rules about hitting the head again?
  • What if I miss?
  • What is the score?
  • How much time do I have left?

 

You can imagine this a lot to think about, and when your parent is yelling at you, chances are the emotional cup will run over!

How about a simple class where your child is learning a ‘kata?’ Here’s what’s going on in your child’s mind:

  • What move is next?
  • Is it my left hand, right hand, left foot, right foot?
  • What did my instructor just say?
  • What did my parent just say?
  • What will my classmates think if I make a mistake?
  • What will my instructor think if I make a mistake?
  • What will my parents think if I make a mistake?
  • How many moves do I have left?

 

Again, there’s a lot of ‘movement’ going on with your child’s neurons, and your coaching from the sidelines, be it positive or negative, could make your child’s emotional stability fall off balance.

But let’s not forget that your coaching is a distraction to other people besides just your child:

  • It distracts the other students.
  • It distracts other parents.
  • It distracts the instructors.

 

So, although you have good intentions with coaching from the sidelines, there are more productive options:

  • Give your child tips and encouragement before class or competition.
  • Remain silent unless you see your child look to you for advice or support.
  • Provide constructive feedback after class or competition.

 

Hopefully this article sheds some light on coaching from the sidelines, and prompts you to take more constructive steps towards your child’s performance in extra-curricular sports and activities. The goal should be to help foster growth and development, as well as encourage the fun out of it. After all, it’s the great memories that last a lifetime.