TEACH DON’T JUST EXPECT
“At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success
is the positive involvement of parents.” – Jane D. Hull
MAKE YOUR BED!
Carol was the mom of Tommy, one of my seven year old Yellow Belts. She was a good mom. She was involved in all of Tommy’s activities and made it a point to ask questions to make sure he did not miss something. Carol was sitting in my office telling me how frustrated she was that Tommy was not able to make his bed. Her reasoning was, “He is SEVEN YEARS OLD! He should know how to make his bed!!” To which I simply replied, “Have you ever shown him how to do it?”
DON’T JUST EXPECT THINGS
As a Parent, you need to teach their child how to doing anything, you can’t just expect them to do it. Watching parents day in and day out interacting with their children, it got me thinking about this issue. Too often, parents expect their child to be able to do something without the proper education
on how to do it.
Whenever you start a new job, you always have an orientation. In a lot of instances when you go to a new school, there is an orientation that gets you acclimated with what is going to happen, what is expected and where you are supposed to be. There really isn’t any type of orientation for children. The kids grow up and parents and grandparents just expect their children to know a lot of the rules in life. That is not what works. What I hear all the time from parents is, “They should know how to do this because they are seven years old.”
There is no correlation between learning a new skill based on age. A child does not know how to make their bed because they are seven years old. They know how to make their bed because you have taught them how to do it – whatever their age!
What I would like to challenge you with is put an “if” after that “should” and check to see if you are teaching or are you just expecting. At that point it would be you “should” know that your clothes belong in the dirty clothe basket if I have taught you that is where they go. It is not a matter of telling them once and they know how to do it.
The really cool part, is that this is a universal principle. It applies to adults, to your significant others, your spouse, your co-workers, as well with children. If you start teaching this concept to your children, it is going to give them a leg up in the world. Every time that you use “should” you can think to yourself, “Did I teach them how to do it?” If the answer is, “No, I haven’t,” then you need to back up and teach them the skill you are interested in seeing them do.
One of the techniques I use when I work with a child is saying to them, “I’m only going to tell you that 10,000 more times.” It is a fun thing that I say to let the child know that I am here to help them. I am your mentor. I am your coach. Don’t feel bad because you forgot, that is my job to remind you.
This is just one of my 25 “best” secrets that I use daily in my kids karate classes. You can get all 25 “secrets” in my #1 Bestselling Book “How to Double Your Child’s Confidence in Just 30 Days” on Amazon.
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