This ONE Thing Parents Do Could Hurt Your Child For Life | Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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Stephanie Wright

Love this program! This is NOT your typical karate program, but so much more! The kids learn life skills such as self esteem, respect, and discipline (for example, a challenge this month is for ninjas to make their bed every day). My daughter started this program shortly after turning three years old, and I have seen tremendous increases in her self-confidence, attention span, respect for teachers at school, manners, and overall behavior (in addition to physical development). Not a day goes by that her teachers don’t compliment her on her behavior, and I believe a large part of that is owed to this program. The instructor is incredibly enthusiastic and dedicated to student success. It’s not very often that you get to see someone who has truly found his “calling” in life, but I believe Shihan is one of those people.

Grant Faulkner

Absolutely the best thing we've ever done for our son and for our family. In only a couple months we saw huge positive changes in our son's self-esteem, his confidence, his fitness, and his overall attitude. He’s always excited to come to class, and his growing pride and sense of accomplishment is a joy to see. More than just a karate school, through SDMA our son (and our family) is learning valuable life skills. Thanks Shihan Strecker!

Nicole West reviewed Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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My son Joseph loves Karate with Shihan! We tried another karate schools that was closer in location, but he kept asking for Shihan. In comparison, I was most impressed with the curriculum and organization at Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts, and I'm so glad we made the decision to return. The kids are all known by name and addressed individually throughout each class. Joseph loves it, and I have seen growth in him both as a karate student and as a young boy who displays confidence and shows courtesy and respect!

Amanda Russell reviewed Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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My son has been going here since September and he absolutely LOVES IT!! I enjoy watching him learn new things and cant wait to see him advance in his belt colors!! I am so glad i choose to go here for him rather than another place!

Annamarie Macandog reviewed Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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One of the most rewarding decisions we've made in our daughter's development has been her enrollment at Denny Strecker's Karate. She has developed so many skills in just one year. The instructors are wonderful and the skills they teach reach well beyond martial arts, including reinforcing skills to be a good student, good friend, and good person.

Donald Kolosick reviewed Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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Nearly five years at the dojo now. My son, 12 year old who is autistic has really progressed under Shihan Strecker. He is doing things I would not have thought he could do. He's still very shy but his confidence has grown so much. I highly recommend this kid friendly, family oriented dojo.

Christopher Biddle reviewed Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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Absolutely love what I'm seeing both our daughters achieve in such a short time, and really like how the courses focus on life skills as well as physical skills

Scott Reno reviewed Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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We're only 6 weeks in and we could not be happier w/ the progress. Our near 4 year old is not the best listener, but we are already seeing changes. Still a work in progress to be sure, but we're on our way!

Lisa Sandor reviewed Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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Great place for karate and kickboxing. Instructor is awesome and looks forward to seeing you succeed

Denise DeGolyer reviewed Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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Denny Strecker's teaches kids not only karate, but how to become leaders. My son has been going there for over a year and the change in his self confidence and attitude has been life changing!

David Kaye reviewed Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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Caring, detailed, and family oriented are 3 terms that come to mind when thinking about this facility. You definitely don't want to pass up this school if you want to learn self defense, confidence, respect, or just get a great workout.

Sk Heinzman reviewed Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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We signed up my son last year when he was 5 to help him build confidence. Since then his more confident in everything and made improvements in all areas. Now, his twin sister has joined along with him after seeing how fun the class were. I love the fact that the classes focus on life skills but making it a blast for the kids!

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This ONE Thing Parents Do Could Hurt Your Child For Life

Parents all over the world are hurting their children and don’t even realize it! Why? Because they have the best intentions and love their child, but they are not thinking about the longterm consequences to their actions. I see this problem more every day in my dealings with kids between the ages of 4 and 12 years old.

More and more, I see kids who give up the second something becomes hard or worse, don’t even try because it might be hard. I see and hear kids say all the time, “I can’t.” and then pout or cry…..and here comes a parent (or grandparent) to the rescue and does it for them.

That is the problem! AND it is getting worse!!

The condition is called “Learned Helplessness” and it has existed in the animal kingdom forever. Now it is becoming recognized in humans and it is bad.

Learned helplessness occurs when an animal is repeatedly subjected to an aversive stimulus that it cannot escape. Eventually, the animal will stop trying to avoid the stimulus and behave as if it is utterly helpless to change the situation. Even when opportunities to escape are presented, this learned helplessness will prevent any action.

What is now happening in children is if they struggle with something (aversive stimulus) they don’t think they can do it so they stop trying and give up.

As a parent, have you ever heard your child say, “I can’t do it.” and you step in and do it for them?

I see this everyday. Parents who:

Tie their kids shoes for them
Tuck in their T-shirt
Tie their karate belt (for a child 8 years old)
carry all the child’s belongings
and the list goes on

These are well-intentioned parents. They love their child and they want the best for them. They are not thinking about the longterm harm they are causing, they are thinking about the immediate care taking they are giving.

As kids grow up, the more that someone steps in and does something for them, the more the child learns to expect and require it. They will not try to solve a problem on their own, they will wait for someone to come along and do it for them. The world is not going to take care of your child. Your child has to take care of themselves once they step out into the real world.

School teachers are not going to take the test for your child, or give them the answers to pass the test, so parents who do the homework for their child are setting them up for failure and frustration.

I have even heard horror stories of a parent going on a job interview with their child to make sure they got the job. The child was in his twenties and perfectly capable of doing it on his own.

When I work with a child, I am always thinking longterm. I ask myself, “How can I help this child today, so that they will become a good leader in the future?” And many times, the answer is to teach them to struggle now, so they will be ready for it later in life when it really matters.

Parents need to help their child at times. Sometimes they need to help a lot. BUT, they also need to take a look and ask themselves, “Do they REALLY need my help?” and if they do, “How much help do they need?”

Instead of jumping in and doing it for them, help them get over their “stuck” point and let them continue the task. An example of this would be:

A child is tying to tie their shoes. They are not getting it so they throw their hands up in the air and say, “I can’t do it.” Instead of tying the shoe for them, guide them through the process. My approach goes like this:

Step 1 – I say, “Don’t tell me what you can’t do.” Said in a matter of fact way. Not in a harsh way.

Step 2 – Show me where you are stuck.

Step 3 – Walk them through the “stuck” point.

Step 4 – Ask, “Good, what do you do next?”

Step 5 – Watch them complete the rest of the task and reinforce their success.

Step 6 – Start over.

If you follow this approach, you will prepare your child for life long success.