Teach Your Ninja About Feelings - Don't Tell Them | Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts
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Stephanie Wright

Love this program! This is NOT your typical karate program, but so much more! The kids learn life skills such as self esteem, respect, and discipline (for example, a challenge this month is for ninjas to make their bed every day). My daughter started this program shortly after turning three years old, and I have seen tremendous increases in her self-confidence, attention span, respect for teachers at school, manners, and overall behavior (in addition to physical development). Not a day goes by that her teachers don’t compliment her on her behavior, and I believe a large part of that is owed to this program. The instructor is incredibly enthusiastic and dedicated to student success. It’s not very often that you get to see someone who has truly found his “calling” in life, but I believe Shihan is one of those people.

Grant Faulkner

Absolutely the best thing we've ever done for our son and for our family. In only a couple months we saw huge positive changes in our son's self-esteem, his confidence, his fitness, and his overall attitude. He’s always excited to come to class, and his growing pride and sense of accomplishment is a joy to see. More than just a karate school, through SDMA our son (and our family) is learning valuable life skills. Thanks Shihan Strecker!

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My son Joseph loves Karate with Shihan! We tried another karate schools that was closer in location, but he kept asking for Shihan. In comparison, I was most impressed with the curriculum and organization at Skillz Dynamic Martial Arts, and I'm so glad we made the decision to return. The kids are all known by name and addressed individually throughout each class. Joseph loves it, and I have seen growth in him both as a karate student and as a young boy who displays confidence and shows courtesy and respect!

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My son has been going here since September and he absolutely LOVES IT!! I enjoy watching him learn new things and cant wait to see him advance in his belt colors!! I am so glad i choose to go here for him rather than another place!

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One of the most rewarding decisions we've made in our daughter's development has been her enrollment at Denny Strecker's Karate. She has developed so many skills in just one year. The instructors are wonderful and the skills they teach reach well beyond martial arts, including reinforcing skills to be a good student, good friend, and good person.

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Nearly five years at the dojo now. My son, 12 year old who is autistic has really progressed under Shihan Strecker. He is doing things I would not have thought he could do. He's still very shy but his confidence has grown so much. I highly recommend this kid friendly, family oriented dojo.

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Absolutely love what I'm seeing both our daughters achieve in such a short time, and really like how the courses focus on life skills as well as physical skills

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We're only 6 weeks in and we could not be happier w/ the progress. Our near 4 year old is not the best listener, but we are already seeing changes. Still a work in progress to be sure, but we're on our way!

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Great place for karate and kickboxing. Instructor is awesome and looks forward to seeing you succeed

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Denny Strecker's teaches kids not only karate, but how to become leaders. My son has been going there for over a year and the change in his self confidence and attitude has been life changing!

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Caring, detailed, and family oriented are 3 terms that come to mind when thinking about this facility. You definitely don't want to pass up this school if you want to learn self defense, confidence, respect, or just get a great workout.

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We signed up my son last year when he was 5 to help him build confidence. Since then his more confident in everything and made improvements in all areas. Now, his twin sister has joined along with him after seeing how fun the class were. I love the fact that the classes focus on life skills but making it a blast for the kids!

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Teach Your Ninja About Feelings – Don’t Tell Them

Good afternoon everybody. I wanted to talk to you today about communication and how you speak with, and to, your ninja. I have noticed the last couple of weeks that a lot of times, parents tell their kids what (and how) to feel, and they are missing a major step in the process.

Just think about the last time you were sad, upset or angry, and somebody looked at you and said,

“Don’t be mad”.

It didn’t really do anything It didn’t help at all. What you want to start thinking about is how to bridge that gap. We don’t want our ninja to feel upset, we don’t want them to feel angry, we don’t want them to feel sad. But let’s help them get to that stage of being able to do that on their own. For example, if your ninja is scared about school starting up in about three or four weeks. Maybe your ninja is a little bit nervous or stressed out about attending school this year. Instead of saying, “Well, don’t be scared.” and just sending them off to school. How about changing the question?

“Why are you scared? What are you nervous about? What are you upset about? What are you angry about?”

Open up a dialogue with your ninja. Have a conversation with them to figure out and get to the base, or the root of what is bothering them. Once you know that, now you are able to start figuring out and working on how to solve that problem.

“What is it about school that you are nervous about?”

“I’m afraid that I’m not going make friends this year.”

“Okay, well, let’s work on some drills or some skills that we can develop in order so that you do make friends.”

Now what you have done is you have given them the tools to be successful. Instead of just telling them that they shouldn’t feel that way. The other aspect is, whenever you tell somebody not to feel that way, what you are saying is, you are wrong for feeling like that. And feelings are feelings. We are never wrong for feeling any way that we feel. That is how we feel. If you do something, and it makes me upset. It makes me upset. If it makes me angry, it makes me angry. So let’s deal with the emotion and work with our ninjas on how to get through it so that they are better able to handle them as they grow older.

As an adult, how many adults do you see that still have meltdowns or temper tantrums? My mom was volunteers at Royal Oak Beaumont Hospital. She was telling me a story a couple weeks ago that she accidentally cut somebody off for a parking spot and the guy literally got out of the car and started screaming at my mother. My mom is 77 years old. It was a mistake. But people are just so short fused and too quick tempered, They don’t know how to deal with these emotions because nobody has helped them. So let’s make sure we help out our ninjas so they don’t become people like that.

By the way, if I would have been there, there would have been a real lesson taking place. We don’t want to have those type of situations and issues. Give your ninja the tool:

don’t tell them how to feel.

Don’t tell them that their feelings are wrong, either directly or indirectly by what you say. Instead, let’s work through it. Why do you feel that way? And let’s see if we can solve it.

Hopefully that helped out. As always, if you found this useful, please feel free to share it with other groups and other parents.